Today I got the chance to wander in the local forest with just the older boys. It was supposed to be one-on-one with R, but J tagged along. It was okay for awhile, but then J found something he just HAD to show R. So off they went.
I found a moss covered stump to rest on while waiting. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, a dog was sniffing nearby. I held out my hand for it to smell, thinking it would be okay to say hi. The dog jumped up barking and got in my face. I don't know if it was going to bite me or not, but it really scared me.
It's owners were nearby, and one of them spoke to the dog. The other one spoke to me (in French, of course). I didn't understand the words, but it was NOT an apology, and included the word "Permission," like it was my fault the dog jumped on me, because I had said it was okay.
I was PISSED! What kind of a person watches their dog jump on someone, then blames them for not defending themselves better?
Afterwards, I started crying. What is it about this place that makes people such jerks? Just because I don't speak the language doesn't mean I'm an idiot.
I've been here nine months now. Day to day I do all right. But some days I am really homesick to be in a place I understand. Where I can communicate. Where I can ask for what I want and need. Where I can sit on a tree stump in peace.