I have a lot of tears today. I am feeling very sad about not seeing the amazing friends I have here anymore. We had our book club this morning, and it was wonderful. But when the talk turned to what's happening next month & the month after, it really hit me. I'm not coming back.
These dear, dear women whose friendships I treasure, will continue on without me. While, "you can always skype!" may be true, it's not going to work out when the gathering here is at 10:30 in the morning (3:30 a.m. Houston time). I just have to say goodbye.
And I don't want to. I don't want to leave. It took my so long to find my bearings here. I've found them now. I know what to do, how to do it and whom to invite. But knowing how to live here is no longer a necessary part of my life.
The good news is that I'm going back to some place that is easy and comfortable. But, even that is temporary. There will be a new place to go, new habits to learn, and new friends to make once T gets the new assignment.
And, as I keep explaining to him, being sad is just part of the process. It doesn't mean I'm not going to go. It doesn't mean I'm mad at him. It's not the end of the world. It's just how I'm feeling today.