Praying...

For as long as I can remember, I have been taught that one should not pray for a particular outcome, but for "the highest good." The idea is that you could never know what god has in store for you (or others), and it is presumptuous to think otherwise.

But I have something in my life that I would really like to have turn out a particular way. All I can see are the reasons why it would be better to go my way. Why on earth god would want me to suffer longer, I have no idea.

Wow.

As I was thinking about writing this post, it was a rant about what I wanted. Now I see the words on the screen, it is reminding me that holding on to "what I want," is probably going to get in the way of actually getting it.

So let me start over...

God, I have this issue I want to resolve. I trust you already know how I am hoping things will turn out. But we've made it this far together, and I know you have my best interests at heart. I will do my best to trust that whatever the outcome is, it will be exactly what I need to grow as a human and to serve you.

I was just about to write. "whatever the outcome, I am sure it will be resolved soon." But then I realized that resolution is part of my wanting something. God may choose to leave it unfinished.

Arrgh.

Must remember to sit in stillness & trust. But I'm not finding it easy. Hmmm.

Is this the part where I ask others for support? Maybe you, too, can pray for my highest good. (FYI, this is not about where we will live, but about something else entirely). Thanks.